About this blog, me, and other things

If you've stumbled onto this blog via some search engine or link that offers no real explanation of what you're about to see, you're probably thinking, "What on Earth is this all about? It's all very random - as the youth of today are wont to say."

Here comes an explanation of sorts.

My name is Mike, I'm 20-30ish and have bipolar disorder. Sometimes I am unable to sleep for days with these oh so random thoughts racing around my head. Sometimes, I get very deep and ramble about many subjects at once, dancing from one to the other with the thinnest of connections. Sometimes I just need to get everything out of my mind before it forces things out of my head that I want there.

And I've just forgotten what I wanted to write next. That's extremely annoying.

Oh yes, I remember now.

Medication. As I have had sung to me on occasion, "Medication's what you need." But I've always refused, run away, lied about it and generally done anything to make the subject go away. I know how I can be. The people around me know how I can be. It can be controlled. I'm scared that if I entrust my mental state to some faceless chemical that I'm going to lose control. It might take away who I am. It might make me unmanageable. Fear of the unknown. Fear of regular blood tests. Fear of leaving the bathroom light on and the extraction fan will be going all day, burn out and force me into a lifetime of showers that leave the handle of the door too wet to turn, trapping me in the bathroom, dying of water poisoning - the first case in history of death by osmosis. Ok, so I took that a bit far. I shouldn't just keep typing whatever comes into my head.

Or maybe I should.

That's what this is all about. Some kind of therapy, an outlet, my own personal stream of unconciousness.

Join me for the ride.

Join me!